What is authenticity?  Realism, Honesty, Truth, Genuineness.  We all want to live openly, yet how many of us truly do?  We walk around saying, “I’m fine, just fine” when in fact our lives may be falling to pieces.  What happened to our world?  Why is it easier for us to mask our truths than to actually express how we really feel?  I would equate much of this to the busyness we have created and invited into our lives.  For many, time is as valuable as money.  The gift of listening is slipping away as the pace of living gets faster.  Personally, I feel that our current situation and crisis of economy is a blessing.  It is forcing many to reevaluate their true priorities and spending habits.  Unfortunately, many individuals and families are getting hurt along the way.

Lately, my life has become incredibly busy and chaotic.  I love to write, and yet I have no time to write.  I love to read, and yet all of my energy for reading goes to my homework.  I should be excited for school, yet I feel exhausted, stressed, overwhelmed, and frustrated.  My ability to focus and become centered is missing.  I have said “yes” to a lot, and neglected giving my best to my bests.  My sweet, beautiful husband has suffered from my current state of stress, and yet continues to support each part of my day.  When we visit with friends, only half of our current realty comes into conversation.  For the most part, it’s just too scary to admit how truly broken our past week has been.  It makes me wonder how many secrets are behind each wall and house we so easily pass on our leisurely walks.  So much of our true self is hidden in the commotion, distraction, and reactions to daily life and struggles.  While an organized home and a smile reflect a calm and controlled surface, my mind and heart are clumsy and fiercely spinning.  Too often, we silently carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.  We refuse to let anyone in.

Prior to starting classes, I had a conversation with one of my professors.  He said that my life would need to become chaotic and unpredictable for my spirit to grow and be stretched.  At the time, I couldn’t understand the truth and necessity behind his words.  Yet, in less than a month into seminary, I’ve been flipped upside down.  And honestly, the one way that I’m steadly stepping through this is by being completely authentic in my most precious relationships.  I have to admit when I’m tired and need rest.  I have to be willing to talk about my fear and insecurities.  I have to be willing to ask others for help.  I have to be bold in asking for guidance.  I have to listen and be listened to.  I have to love and allow others to love me back.

Today, as I was preparing to step into work and study, I experienced an overwhelming feeling of exhaustion.  In a minute of reflection, I was reminded that God answers many of the negative things we say throughout the day:

“I’m so tired”:  “I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28-30)

“I’m not able”:  “I am able” (II Corinth 9:8)

“I can’t forgive myself”:  “I  FORGIVE you” (John 1:9 and Romans 8:1)

“I’m always worried and frustrated”:  “Cast all your cares on ME” (I Peter 5:7)

“I’m not smart enough”:  “I give you wisdom” (I Corinth 1:30)

“I’m afraid”:  “I have not given you a spirit of fear” (II Timothy 1:7)

When I turned my attention to Him, the darkness in my heart became light.  It’s important for us to be authentic with each other and to show genuine compassion, but it’s even more important for us to be authentic in our walk with Christ.  Ask Him to direct your steps.  Invite Him to sustain you and give you courage.  I understand that many people are struggling today and feeling incredibly weak.  If this is you, I hope these words from Josh Groban lift you up and encourage you to open up and reveal your brokenness to family and friends.  I invite you to be bold and bring authenticity into your words, actions, and prayers.

Have you been wearing a mask with family and friends?  How will you invite authenticity into your life this week?

How much of life do we exchange for each other? 

As I become more aware of the simplicity that is sprinkled throughout our lives, I’m beginning to see patterns and themes each week.  I try to be aware of similar happenings and thoughts, which is how I often piece together my writing topics.

Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely overwhelmed and encouraged by the amazing community of friends around me.  This past weekend, I had the opportunity to spend a night with seven amazing women at Timberline Lodge on Mount Hood.   One of our dear friends, Anna, brought us together to help celebrate her six year wedding anniversary and to talk about the love that we’ve experienced in our own lives.  How memorable!

While I was reminded about the importance of friendships and love, I was also encouraged by the sharing and exchanges that took place.  Anna had a wonderful idea of turning the “white elephant” game into an eco-friendly gift giving event.  She has recently begun taking steps to simplify her home and the materials in her life, and as a result, found several items that she wanted to share with us.  So, we each went around the circle and picked a bag from the table.  We were given the chance to open it and decide if it was something we liked or needed.  It was also important that Anna let us know that it was perfectly fine if we saw nothing we wanted to bring home.  I ended up with a beautiful bright green candle dish, which found a home in one of our bathrooms that was thirsty for color.  And the best part; it was free!

Another excellent idea that Anna included in her invitation was a clothes exchange.  Often referred to as a “Naked Ladies Party” , we were asked to bring any items that we no longer liked or fit into.  And, although I had recently been part of a summer garage sale, I was surprised to find myself easily taking things from my closet and tossing them into the giveaway bag.  After the exchange, I felt like I walked away with a brand new wardrobe!  One of the girls even works at Nike, so in a tiny way, I felt as if I won the lottery by finding several new workout pants and shirts.  Ladies, if you have never done this with your girlfriends, this is a must, annual event!  Clothes, shoes, meals, books, furniture, household items, music lessons, babysitting.  The options are vast!

In the world of exchange, another valuable option is trading of services.  As I look around, I see many talents and passions that people in our life encompass.  For instance, Heather, one of the sweet girls in our church community group, is an incredible hair stylist.  Recently, I asked if she would be open and willing to exchange a trim for an organizing session.  Honestly, I felt a bit nervous to pose such a question, but her quick response only helped encourage my newfound spirit of community exchange.  And, after conversations with her, I realize that so many of us are afraid to ask for the help that we need.  As a result of our talking, we ended up discovering another exchange!  A vacation townhome for babysitting!  Marvelous! 

While I understand that many people today do not have the time or energy to exchange talents, I do know that this type of giving and taking will cause a ripple effect of positive change and needs awareness.  Can you imagine a neighborhood of strangers coming together for this type of exchange?  Think of the support, understanding, and compassion that might come through such agreements.  Not to mention, money saved!

This type of mindset is eco-friendly and solicitous.  The communication needs to be open and authentic however, as to not take advantage of another person’s heart to give.  Honestly, I truthfully believe that God intended for us to live in this way.

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”

~Henry David Thoreau          

How have you recently practiced the gift of exchange in your life?  What passions and talents might you offer to those around you?

Growing up, I can honestly say that I undervalued the friendships in my life.  At the time, I had no idea how important they are to the survival of everyday living.  Today however, I can genuinely say that friendships matter.  In fact, they are absolutely, positively necessary. 

Anna, Me, and Jessica

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to spend the weekend on the coast with two of the most amazing woman that have ever come into my life.  They inspire me, challenge me, and support me.  They help me to let go, and let God.  Both of them are so unique and passionate.  They just truly love life and the energy that comes from being around others.  I love them dearly, and cannot imagine how I ever believed that friendships were optional.  

During our weekend at the beach house, we found time to just be girls.  We laughed, we cried, we created, we listened.  We just took some time to care for one another.  It was beautiful, simple, and real.  I believe in these girls just as much as they believe in me.  How can it get any better than that?

As I step into living with more simplicity, I am reminded that girlfriends (and community) are an essential piece of the authenticity and accountability we need in our lives.  At the core of our being, we thirst for relationships and connection.  By finding them, we find ourselves.  And in doing this, we get a tiny glimpse of God and His magnificent creation.  Over time, the friendships we appreciate and nurture will turn out to be one of the true and lasting memories we hold in this life.

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create).  It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

~C.S. Lewis

How have you made time for the core friendships in your life?  What are some of the lasting memories that you’ve recently created? 

P.S. ~  Jeremy and I were in Canada last week celebrating our four year wedding anniversary, so I missed posting to my blog.  In trying to live more simply, I intentionally chose not to bring my laptop.    More to come on Wednesday….